I totally forgot what I was going to say!

I was texting a friend while I was in Aleggebra class, but it didn't matter because the teacher doesn't teach us shit anyway (pardon my french).

So I spent my time in class cell-texting my friends (I borrowed someone else's cell-phone; unfortunately I wasn't wearing gloves or diapers, because the experience gave me an immediate case Swine Flu or Ebola, I'm not sure which).

I do not own a cell phone, because they are forbidden by my religious cult of choice -- Polygamous Mormanism. I am a deceiptful member, and I shall go to Hell. And I shall Enjoy It.

At least I didn't lie to Oprah.

Whatever.

Back to me. At least I don't have to work out or go to the gym or run or bike or work the treadmill to stay in shape. Or try to run a fucking marathon. Or try to be more "black" so I can get on more covers of more shallow magazines that promote diets that I do not and will not endorse.

I recommend a minimum of 5,000 calories per day, and no exercise whatsoever.

My previous idol was a golden fat Buddha at the Buddha Bar (back when I was a lass).

My new idol is Andrea Dworkin.

Take that to the bank.