Cheating is not Cheating if You are in an Open Relationship

Of course there are accidental "relapses," my partner and I just wouldn't call them that.  They are slips here and there, usually for a good reason, and sometimes not, but nodding off in the middle of a conversation with a stranger on the subway is not the worst thing in the world.  We have each had our fair (or more than fair) share of second chances, and this simply doesn't count -- as long as you survive and get right back on your hobby horse to prance around the room and pretend to be better than everyone else (or at least riding a prettier horse).  I have once and for all sworn off cigarettes, which I never smoked in the first place.  So if I inhale some of yours second hand, does that make me a junkie?  I have always hated coffee, so if I smell some on your breath, does that make me a double addict?  To y'all who say no, you are total hypocrites!

I was a newbie to the Rooms when I disclosed my atheism.  I desperately desired to have a deeply religious belief in doorknobs and light bulbs when it occurred to me that I might as well be watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks because of all the hocus pocus I was expected to fake believing in.  I was actively (verbally) attacked by an old bald gay fat guy with a very instrusive parrot one shoulder and a big chip on the other AND a genuinely effeminate twinkle in his unpatched eye -- How can you be an atheist and expect to get anything out of this program?  Well, that sort of accusatory animosity drove out of the rooms and into the arms of my current lover Brenda Velasquez, and we have had a merry ride ever since.

Take that, you pea minded holier than thou assholes!