Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Poppies!

I am delighted with heroin's comeback. It's been a long time coming and overdue. I used to watch Mexican girls on the train nod on and off, on and off, on and off, their eyes a-rollin back as far the eye could see. They were hot too, wandering the streets, slapping their forearms, shouting "EROIIIIIN" like they were selling flores para los muertos.

I entirely approve of heroin addiction and opiates generally, whether for medicinal or recreational use or otherwise. I think it might make a pretty good date rape drug too (but guess I wouldn't know -- I had passed out, as I frequently do).

But not in Lordsburg, which is in the middle of nowhere halfwayish between Phoenix and El Paso, near the New Mexico border. There was no bus station, just a parking lot, some bathrooms, and a McDonald's, packed with my fellow truth seeking sojourner traveling companions. I was about the 15th person in line, but that line moved fast.

Of course, I had to have my two $1 double cheeseburgers (no ketchup) and a $1 medium fry. Like the bus, the McDonald's was freezing cold thanks to the AC, so I sat outside in the hot sun to enjoy my personal smorgasboard. The wind blew my napkins away so I had to hold everything down with the food. Everything tasted good enough and then I felt like shit.

I reboarded the empty bus, nabbed my two seats (the crying mexican child bride who had been sitting next to me from Phoenix moved over to the two seats that had been vacated by the fortune-seeking dreadlocked stripper). My attention to these minor affairs was usually diverted by lukewarm pint upon pint of blueberry yogurt and attendant trips to the restroom to peek down at the rich blue soup. Yum! Que rico!

So I get back on the bus and freeze all the way to El Paso, headed toward Dallas, allowing the cheeseburgers to work their way through my disquieted innards. And I think about writing a speech that would include everyone I would thank if I should ever win the Powerball. And then I make a list of everyone for whom I would use my newfound wealth to make their lives a living hell. It's a long list. Right now, all I can do is pray, pray, pray.

By the way, I love morons. And polygamy's okay by me too.

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